


In the Dark

by Madihatter



Series: Her Green Sky [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Han Jumin, Depression, F/M, Five Stages of Grief, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Han Jumin After Ending (Mystic Messenger), Here we go, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Manipulation, Memory Loss, Mystery, Obsession, RFA Party (Mystic Messenger), References to Depression, Revenge, Stalking, Yikes, get ready for another rollercoaster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24976687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madihatter/pseuds/Madihatter
Summary: This is part 2. To avoid spoilers for part 1, the summary will be in the beginning notes.
Relationships: Han Jumin/Main Character, Han Jumin/Reader
Series: Her Green Sky [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1475909
Comments: 32
Kudos: 59





	1. Whats happened since then?

**Author's Note:**

> As the RFA processes your death, they struggle with each other, life events, and themselves as they try to go about their lives without you in it. Unbeknownst to them, you are alive, but You have no memory of your life before and are being led to believe you are a girl named Soo Jin. Who is this family you live with? Why can't you remember anything? will the RFA realize you are alive?

9 months after your funeral…

  
  


_Ring ring… ring ring…_

Jaehee fished through her purse as she maneuvered through the crowd. Pulling out her cell phone she pushed aside her now shoulder-length hair. She had forgotten what a hassle it was at this length. 

_Ring ring...Ring ri---_

“This is Jaehee Kang speaking.” 

“Hello, Mrs. Kang. This is Chairman Han, have you gotten the documents from my son yet?”

“I am outside the Hannam Apartments now. I will get them to you before your 12 o’clock meeting with Harbour Coffee.” 

“Good.” There was a slight pause before the Chairman continued in a worried tone. “When you arrive at the office please tell me how he is doing. He is avoiding my calls.” 

“I will, sir. Goodbye.” Jaehee hung up and pressed the button for the top floor. Despite being the most expensive apartments in Seoul, it couldn't hold a light to Jumin’s old penthouse. 

Two weeks after your funeral, Jumin Han had suddenly packed a suitcase and moved here. It wasn’t a big move and he bought mostly new furniture for it. 

No one was surprised when he left. Everything in the penthouse seemed to remind them of you. Your wedding pictures on the mantel that now collect dust. Your heirlooms and trinkets you collected on business trips. The remnants of your favorite wine bottle in the fridge. The blue RFA party dress he gave you for the first party hanging in the closet.

You were everywhere. Sometimes she expected you to come out of the guest room or find you on the couch with Elizabeth the third. It was like you never really left. 

The elevator ding brought Jaehee's attention back to the task at hand. She needed to collect the necessary documents, but most importantly she needed to talk with her friend. 

She knocked on the door. “It is Jaehee.”

She waited but there weren't any sounds on the other side of the door.

“Mr. Han?” she knocked again. Nothing. “Jumin?” A muffled noise came from inside. “I am coming in.”

She unlocked the door with the spare key. She hated using it but on days like these, they were necessary. Otherwise, she would have to wait outside for hours. 

She already knew what to expect before she entered. 

Jumin was asleep on the couch with Elizabeth in his arms. Two empty wine bottles and a partly full glass were on the coffee table. It looks like he fell asleep there since he was still wearing his clothes from yesterday. 

The cat yawned and spread its legs out before wiggling out of his grasp. She padded over to Jaehee mewling for affection and food. 

“Hello, Elizabeth.” She checked her watch. _9:02 am._ “Hmmm, I assume he hasn’t fed you yet since he is still asleep.” 

After giving Elizabeth her food she grabbed a glass of water and some Advil before crouching beside Jumin on the couch. 

“Jumin. It is time to wake up.” She shook him slightly and he groaned in protest. 

Jaehee was thankful his overdrinking had subsided but there were still times when he would overdo it and just shut down. He was still grieving...they all were. 

Sighing, she nudged him harder. “Jumin. You have to get up.”

“Not so loud Assistant Kang.” Jumin slowly sat up and rubbed his head. 

“Here.” She gave him the medicine and water. He quickly downed both. 

“The last time this happened was two weeks ago.” Jahehee stood up and fixed her skirt before sitting on the armrest. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Jumin lowered his head. “No. I just… found something. It still had her scent.” he cleared his throat. “I’m fine now.” 

Elizabeth had finished her food and was now making herself comfortable in Jumin’s lap, purring as he pet her.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Jaehee whispered. 

“What?” 

“It’s okay to not be okay.” 

“I’m fine,” he said curtly.

“Mr. Han. I have known you for over five years. You always masked how you were feeling and kept everything locked away until you met MC. I watched you change and grow as a person. It may be different from before, but I can tell when you are putting on a mask.” 

“I have done no such thing.”

“I may wear glasses but I’m not blind.”

“You’re one to talk. You don’t seem to be pretending. How are you doing so well when your best friend is dead.” He snapped. Jumin’s face instantly fell, regretting what he said. “I’m sorry. I did not mean that.”

“I know.” Jaehee stood and started to clean off the coffee table. “People deal with grief differently. Everyone in the RFA is still grieving in their own ways. I… I have accepted it.” 

She set the bottles on the kitchen counter and rinsed out the wine glass. “But you were each other's whole world. You shouldn't force yourself to be okay when you still need to grieve. You don’t have to pretend to be okay.” 

Jumin put Elizabeth to the side and walked to the window. 

“I don’t think I will ever stop feeling this way.” 

Jumin stared out at the city in silence as Jaehee started to make coffee for the two of them in the kitchen. This had become a daily routine for them. Jaehee would come by before work, make coffee, check on him, and go over reports for the day. He was slowly getting in the mood to work again so his father gave him three projects to work on. Nothing too important, but enough to help him stay busy. 

Jumin ran his hand through his unkempt hair. “Thank you for your kind words, Assistant Kang. How is working with my father going?”

“It is going well, though I much prefer working with you.” 

Jumin chuckled at that. “I am glad to hear he isn’t overloading you with work.”

“Yes, well...I made my conditions very clear when I agreed to work with his team.”

“Thank you.” Jumin walked to his desk and sat down. “I haven’t checked the app lately. Would you fill me in?”

“Of course. Today is Yoosung’s first day as a Vet Tech in the animal hospital downtown. I was a bit worried he wouldn't get it since he almost missed the interview.”

Jumin sipped on his coffee. “I’m glad he decided to follow that path. He makes a better Vet than a businessman.”

“Haha, I agree. Zen got an offer for another role a few days ago and will be auditioning for it tomorrow.” Jaehee’s smile falters a little. “Seven isn't on very much still but he says both him and saeran are doing well. It has been harder for them. But V will be taking them to the mountains in a week to take a break from everything.”

“Are they still...”

“I think so. I don’t think they have stopped searching for the people who took her.”

Jumin sighed. “I should talk to them.”

“What do you mean? I thought you agreed with them?”

“I did before and I still sort of do. But it's like you said...we can't push our pain away. I can’t watch them overwork themselves because of my selfish request.” 

“I think it is more than that to them.”

“You might be right about that. Shall we discuss the reports then?” 

“Are you sure you don't want to change? Or maybe shower first?”

Filing through the papers Jumin finds the documents he needed. “I can do that when you leave.” 

Jaehee grimaced a little. “If you say so.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


\---Somewhere in a neighborhood in the outskirts of Ansan, Korea (south of Seoul)---

In your parent's garden, a soft breeze flows through the yard making the flowers dance and the wind chimes jingle. You lay under the big orange tree in the corner of the yard. You're not sure why but it is your favorite spot in the garden. It feels familiar somehow. Maybe you did this before as a child? Lay here looking up at the green leaves and the vast sky just past them. If you squint the sky almost looks green. But not anymore with all the blooms that have sprouted along the branches. In a few weeks, you will have some juicy oranges to snack on. 

_Wait, do I like oranges? When was the last time I had them?_

You struggle to recall but are interrupted when you hear your mother's voice. 

“You silly child, did that accident make you deaf as well as forgetful?”

“Haha sorry mother, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Well, wash up and help me set the table. Dinner is ready.”

“Okay, I'm coming.”

“Good girl Soo Jin. I am happy you are with us again.”


	2. Blocked Pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After weeks of being unconscious in the hospital from a mysterious accident, you finally wake up to strange people calling you a strange name.

The only thing I remember is that I am trapped in a dark fog. I do not know how I got here nor how to leave. This thick cloud weighs heavily on my shoulders. Unable to move, I try to grasp at thoughts but nothing forms. This fog has everything I am missing, but it shows me nothing. Not even mercy.

Wisps of smoke float around me freely. They point in different directions, each one indicating something in the fog with me. But oddly, I know whatever is there isn’t going to hurt me. It is just as lost as I am.

I don’t know how long I stood in the emptiness that surrounded me, but it felt like an eternity. Soon, I became aware of something pulling me. I had nowhere else to go, so I let myself be pulled through the smoke. The heaviness dissipated around me as I left the fog. Though I was happy to have the weight off my soul, I couldn’t help but feel I left something behind.

I focus on what’s ahead. I can hear something beeping in the distance. Distant and muffled voices whisper somewhere above me.

Slowly, the beeping gets louder.

“She’s waking up!” an older woman’s voice said in alarm. “quick honey, go get Yong-min”

There are sounds of furniture moving and footsteps hastily walking away.

My eyes flutter open but I flinch at the bright light that hangs from the ceiling above me.

Objects slowly come into focus. White ceilings. A large monitor next to my head. Two tacky green chairs in the corner of the room, one looks a. Various doctor’s equipment and strange tools are scattered across the counter. The white walls are given one muted painting to add color to the bare room.

Movement brings my attention back to where I lay connected by tubes and wires to the monitor. There is another chair at the foot of my bed…someone was just there. An older woman I don’t recognize steps into view at my right side, startling me.

“Hey sweetie,” she says softly. She sees the startled confusion on my face and begins to soothe me. “oh, hey it's okay. Mommy’s here. You are going to be okay.” She tried to hold my hand but I jerk it away at her touch.

_No._

“Sweetie it's okay.” She gently takes my hand again. “You’re in the hospital. There was a bad accident but you're better now.” My throat is so dry I can only grunt in protest.

_No…I don’t like this._

I finally find the words to speak. “Who…Who are you?” my voice is hoarse from lack of use.

The woman’s face falls and instantly becomes concerned. “It’s me Soo-jin. I’m your mother.” She now holds my hand with both of hers. They feel uncomfortably cold. I try to pull away but it only makes her tighten her grip.

“Soo-Jin. It’s okay. I’m your mom.”

“You..I’m.. Who?” I struggle to find words as I try to scoot away from the older woman claiming to be my mother. I don’t know hats happening but I know I am scared. My heart is starting to race and the monitor starts to match my panicked heartbeat.

“Honey, Its okay. Calm down.” My “mother” makes another failed attempt to soothe me.

My monitor must have alerted the staff because a nurse runs into to room and tries to talk my “mother” into letting me go.

“Mrs. Kim, Dr. Ji is on his way. Please let her go, her head injury requires her to not be stressed.”

As she loosens her grip a Doctor and an older gentleman come jogging into the room.

The older gentleman walks to his wife’s side and rests his hands around the woman’s shoulders causing her to relax a little. She reluctantly let’s go of my hands.

“Soo-jin, I am glad to see you are awake. You had us worried.” the doctor said, turning my attention away from the couple. The doctor sends the nurse back to their duties before checking the monitors.

_He…feels familiar but I don’t know why._

“How are you feeling?” he says as he pulls a stool next to my bed.

“I…What’s going on?”

“You were in a bad accident when our family home caught fire and burned down. You were spared from the fire, but you were hit by falling debris and caused severe head trauma. You have been unconscious for almost three weeks.”

I tried to wrap my head around what the doctor was telling me. I don’t this happening to me.

“You said _our_ home? Who are you?”

Something flashed in his eyes as he looked into mine before vanishing. It happened too quickly to decipher what it was. It felt…wrong?

“My name is Dr. Ji, but you have always called me brother.”

“I don’t remember you.”

He looked at me inquisitively. “What do you remember?”

I tried to think but my head throbbed. I couldn't find anything. Panicked tears started to form in my eyes.

“Nothing...I- I don’t remember anything.”

Experiment:

Should the majority of MC's POV be in Second or first-person?

This chapter is an example of the first-person. Below is how I originally had the chapter starting in the second-person as an example. 

The first thing you remember is that you are trapped in a dark fog. This thick cloud weighs heavily on your shoulders. Unable to move, you try to grasp at thoughts but nothing forms. Wisps of smoke float around you freely. They point in different directions, each one indicating something in the fog just beyond your reach.

You can hear something beeping in the distance. Distant and muffled voices whisper somewhere above me. Slowly, the beeping gets louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter because I am experimenting with how I should write MC's POV. The RFA's pov is a mixture of first and third-person narratives, but I wanted our pov to be more personal. I started it in second-person but it didn't feel personal enough to put ourselves as readers into MC's position.  
> I'm thinking of doing a mixture of first and second person for MC's POV but I wanted to know what you guys think before I continue. 
> 
> The next chapter will be a continuation of this one with more detail.


	3. Blocked Pt.2

After a few seconds of strained silence, the doctor speaks up again.

“You don’t remember anything?” Yong-min asks. “Do you remember your name?”

“it’s..it’s um—”

“Soo-jin. It’s Soojin.” The woman interjects. She trembles as she fighters to hold in her tears.

“Mother, please. I need to hear from her.” Yong-min turned to his parents.

“Let’s go into the hallway, dear.” The woman was hesitant but followed him. The doctor turned back to you.

You sit in the hospital room in a shocked stupor.

_Why can’t I remember anything? I should…I should at least know my name…_

_That woman keeps calling me Soo-jin. Is that…who I am?_

“Soo-jin?” Yong-min leans closer to you making you look up at him. “Oh, you responded. I suppose that is a start.”

“I guess I did. But I still don’t think…I don’t _know_ if I am who you think.”

“I understand. You’re confused and scared. Based on what you told me, it seems your head trauma was much more severe than I initially thought.”

“You said I was in an accident when our house caught on fire. How did that happen?”

“As I said before you were spare from the fire but you were hit by falling debris when you were escaping. You were house-sitting for our parents while they were away on vacation. The police believe it was an accident. The fire spread quickly and we lost most of our belongings.”

“I see. That’s terrible.” You lower your head to stare at your hands. They were still clutching the bedsheet. You tried to relax a little. 

Yong-min put his hand on your shoulder. “It was just items and knick-knacks. We are just happy we didn’t lose you again.”

_Wait_

“Again?

“Hm?

“What do you mean again?”

Yong-min looked as if he had let out a secret. “Ah, that probably sounds strange since you don’t remember what happened before the accident either. You kind of cut us out of your life before. We didn’t reconnect until about two years ago. It was as though we had lost a family member while you were gone.”

He turns and starts scanning the monitor. He occasionally writes notes on the clipboard in his hands.

“O-oh.”

This was so weird. You were learning so much about Soo-jin... oh uh…yourself… and you had just woken up from a coma 30 minutes ago. Everything was happening so fast. Trying to process it all made your head hurt.

“How do I know that I’m who you say I am?” you ask.

“I suppose, you just have to trust me.” Yong-min smiles as he finishes writing his notes and presses the ‘call nurse’ button on the wall.

I am going to have the nurses run some diagnostics and an MRI. See if we can find out what is going on in there.” He pokes the middle of your forehead. “I’ll also ask our parents to bring pictures tomorrow. Maybe that will help bring back your memories. It will also keep them occupied for the rest of the day so you don’t have to worry about them smothering you today.”

“Um. Thank you, Dr. Ji.”

“Soo-jin, please. I may be your doctor but I am your brother first.”

You nod and he leaves you to your thoughts.

 _I guess…there isn’t much I can do right now,_ you think to yourself.

THE NEXT DAY

“And here you are with your father on your first day of kindergarten. Oh! This one is so precious; you and your brother are playing in the yard together. This was you the day we brought you home from the hospital.” Your mother—who you discovered is called Hee-Young Kim, had brought over the (only slightly damaged) photos and memorabilia they were able to gather from the ashes. She spread them out all over your hospital bed and told you all about what was happening when it was taken.

“Let’s see…” She picks up a picture that has one side burned off but the rest of the picture was fine. “that person was burned out but I think it was your uncle’s birthday.” She rotates it a bit. “Or maybe your grandpa’s funeral?”

Your father, Beom Kim, sat beside her and chuckled. He was more soft-spoken than his wife but when he did speak, his voice was gentle and comforting. He dug into the bag they brought and pulled out an old stuffed rabbit.

“Here sweetie,” He hands it to you. “This was yours. You took this everywhere you went up until middle school.” He smiles at the memory.

“Thank you.” You bring the stuffed animal up to your face. It smells of smoke and dust but there is also a subtle smell of…something you can’t make out.

Seeing the look on your face, your father spoke up once more. “We can wash it a few more times, but It might be a while before the smell is gone.”

You look at the photos that cover you. You notice most of them are of you as a child. The oldest you are in these pictures is maybe ten or eleven years old.

“Do we have any more recent pictures? I am so young in these its hard to tell if it is me.”

Your mother’s face falters as she pauses her story, “these aren’t ringing any bells?”

“No…I’m sorry.”

“Oh sweetie, don’t be sorry. It’s okay. The doctors said it may take some time.”

“We have some of our recent pictures but there aren’t many with you in them. After you reconnected with us you were only with us for a few months out of the year before the fire.”

“Why was that? What would I do?”

“Work mostly. You were a chef in the city over from where we lived. The restaurant closed down a month or so before the accident. Let’s see…I might have some with me. Ah! Here.

She pulls out six photos of you that seem to have been taken in the past two years. Two of them were selfies of you eating ice cream in the park and one with a person whose been mostly burned off. The others were family pictures taken on vacation at a beach somewhere.

_That…defiantly looks like me, or at least very similar._

“I'll bring some more when we visit tomorrow.” Your mother said. She started to gather the scattered pictures.

“Thanks, mom.”

She beamed when she heard those words. “Anything for you, Soo-jin.”

Later that night your mind was still racing from all the new information.

_So much has happened that I don’t remember. Is any of it real?_

_I guess that they had those pictures of me so…it must be._

_I must be their daughter. I must be Soo-jin…._

_Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter was mostly in 2nd pov. Thank you for bearing with me. I think the MC POV chapters will be more like this so we can fully experience the story as ourselves. Let me know if you have any feedback or recommendations! I'm always happy to hear from y'all!
> 
> Next, we see the RFA after the funeral. Get ready for the feels :,)


	4. Life goes on

~~10 weeks after your funeral~~

**ZEN**

“Damn. I’m out of beer.” Zen cursed as he searched his fridge. “I guess I’ll go buy some. Hmm I should also get some more milk.”

Zen grabbed his wallet and keys before disguising himself in his usual garb. He made his way to the convenience store a few streets over. It was getting dark out so he would have to hurry. He didn’t like being outside at night in his disguise. It made him feel like a creep.

He rounded the last corner and stopped in his tracks. The convenience store had three guys sitting off to the side smoking. It wasn’t unusual for customers to smoke once they buy, but for him it was a big deal. It’s been almost two years since he quit smoking and his cravings had come back at full force since you died.

He watched as the men put the cigarette to their lips and puffed. Smoke bellowed out of their mouths. That smell was so distinct he could almost remember the taste of it.

Zen shook his head and braved his way into the store.

_Nope. Not happening._

He repeated these words as he shopped.

_You're so much better now. It’s not good to smoke._

He refused to look at the cigarette case as he checked out.

_Just a little further._

Once out of the store, Zen jogged back home. He needed to get away. After he got inside, Zen flopped on the couch, not even bothering to unpack the few items he bought now abandoned in the doorway.

_Come on Hyun, you know it wont help. You’ve lasted this long._

He pulled out his phone and opened his photos. He scrolled to his favorite picture of you and Zen together. It was a selfie of both of you backstage after one of his plays. The other RFA members weren’t able to come but you did. It had meant the world to him.

 _For her_.

Just then he got a text message from Jaehee.

**_Jaehee: hey, you able to talk?_ **

**_Zen: Sure, whats up._ **

**_Jaehee: Im nervous about tomorrow._ **

**_Zen: You? Nervous?_ **

**_Jaehee: strange I know._ **

**_Zen: Call me. Let’s talk about it._ **

The two friends talked on the phone for over an hour before saying their goodbyes. In the end, they decided to meet for coffee the next morning to finish their conversation.

Zen stepped out onto his apartment’s roof and took in a deep breath. Holding it in, he closed his eyes and let the wind flow through his hair before letting it out. The stars were as pretty as ever tonight, but they had changed.

“Don’t worry y/n. I will keep my promise.” He whispered.

**JAEHEE**

Jaehee stood in front of the mirror examining her outfit. She straightened her skirt and turned a little to see every angle. It felt strange putting on her work uniform again after not wearing it for so long.

Chairman Han had offered her a temporary assistant position with his branch until Jumin is more suitable to return to work.

“Yes. This is better.” Jaehee walked past three other discarded outfits on the bed she left her room. Once it was time to leave, she grabbed her purse and office items she prepared the night before from the table.

She walked to the café she and Zen decided to meet for breakfast. Once there, Jaehee was able to easily spot him in the crowd. She knew every one of his disguises since they met up so often to chat.

“Oh, hey Jaehee.” He said. “Here I saved us a spot.”

Zen ordered a waffle topped with fruit and powdered sugar and a mango smoothy. Jaehee decided to get the specialty coffee and strawberry crepe. Jaehee didn’t realize how hungry she was. She had to keep herself from drooling. As they ate, the two friends continued their conversation from the night before.

“The Chairman would do that?” Zen said in disbelief. He scoffed. “I don’t blame you for being nervous. I always thought he was more…loose compared to Jumin.”

“He was for most things but when it came down to business, he got very serious.” She took a sip of her coffee and sighed. “Life has been so crazy since I last worked. I know I will do a good job. It’s just…well..”

“so much has changed.” Zen finished for her.

“yeah.” Taking another bite, she pointed her fork at him. “So what’s this about not accepting that role from that new director?”

“Ah. I was hoping you’d forget about that.” Zen winced.

“How could I? it’s a big deal.”

“noooo it’s not.”

“To me it is. I’m worried about you.” Jaehee said. “You rejected a no audition role and you haven’t even mentioned any new auditions.” She looked down at her lap. “I know I may be overstepping since everyone is taking her death differently. I just don’t want you to lose these opportunities. You worked so hard to get here.”

“I understand Jaehee, but you don’t need to worry about my career.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “I will be fine. I just…don’t think I should be on stage for a little while. I need time to get myself sorted before I can do better.”

“Okay.” She checked her watch. “I should go. Thank you for meeting me.”

“Anytime, Jaehee.”

Calming her nerves, she made her way to work for the first time since you died.

**YOOSUNG**

Yoosung stood on the corner of the sidewalk with dozens of other people as he waited to cross the street. It’s been three days since Yoosung finished his internship for C&R. The internship gave him some time and work experience after he graduated but now…he didn’t know how to move forward.

In the past few weeks, the internship was the main reason he didn’t shut himself in his apartment— well, that and his mom who had come to stay with him when she heard you had died. She was a big help.

He had reached his destination. Staring up at the colorful sign, Yoosung remembered the day you first brought him here two years ago. Jumin was away on a business trip at the time and you were feeling lonely.

_“Y/n, as much as I want to do this, wouldn’t Jumin get upset?”_

_“Oh, He wouldn’t be upset. Besides, what my husband doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”_

_You laughed gleefully as you entered the Dog rescue shelter. So carefree._

_You had volunteered the two of you to spend the day there with the animals and prepare them for new homes._

_"They need our help. You can’t say no Yoosung!” you put your hands on your hips and pouted._

_He sighed in compliance and followed you to the dog play pin._

It was one of his favorite memories. A secret kept between the two of you.

Yoosung wiped a stray tear away before entering the building. God, he missed you.

Yoosung decided that getting out and volunteering again would be helpful. It would cheer him up and maybe even get him back on track to being a veterinarian. This rescue was the best place to start.

**JUMIN**

Ever since you died, Jumin had felt numb.

He turned every picture of you together face down. He slept in the guest bedroom because he couldn’t bear not waking up in bed next to you. And when he couldn’t sleep, he drank until he could.

He was numb. Heavy. He didn’t leave the penthouse and he didn’t talk to anyone but the RFA, his father. And Elizabeth the Third.

In some of his more casual clothes, Jumin gave his apartment one last look before leaving. He had decided to move into another penthouse but couldn’t sell this one. Not yet. He didn’t need to bring everything with him, just the necessities and Elizabeth the third. Poor girl was doing her best to comfort him.

He grabbed the suitcase handle and closed the door.

“It’s nice to see you going out sir.” Chief Kim said as he escorted Jumin to the lobby.

“Yes. Please tell the driver we are making a quick stop before going to the new penthouse.”

“Would you like us to accompany you, sir?”

“No, that’s not needed where we are going. It’s plenty safe. Just meet me at the new building,”

Ever since you died, Jumin had felt numb.

Jumin wasn’t numb anymore. Now he was angry.

Jumin stood outside of 707’s apartment, his leg bounced impatiently as he waited to be greeted.

The door finally opened to reveal a slightly confused redhead.

“Hey Jumin, why the sudden house call.”

“I need your help.”

“Oookay? With what?”

“I want your help in tracking those bastards down and making them pay.”

“What? Jumin, are you serious?” Saeyoung looked taken aback by his outburst.

“Of course, I am? Why wouldn’t I be? They took my wife from me. Your close friend.”

Before Saeyoung could do anything else, Saeran appeared from around the corner.

“I’ll do it.” He said. He looked calm, but there was a deep anger in his eyes.

**SAERAN + SAEYOUNG**

“Wha-now wait.” Saeyoung stammered.

“I said I would do it.” He said curtly.

“But—” Saeyoung started to protest but his brother cut him off.

“But what? What is there to argue about?”

Jumin piped up. “It seems you two should discuss this. I will leave you to work this out. Call me when you’ve made your decision.” And with that, he left as quickly as he came. Saeyoung stood there with the door still open looking confused at what happened. He closed it and turned to his brother.

“We shouldn’t do it.” Saeyoung’s words pierced through his heart. Saeran tried to keep himself calm.

“Why? Why don’t you want to do this?” Saeran stormed over to his brother, determined to get his way. “This is our chance to avenger her. To find her killers!”

He pointed a finger into Saeyoung’s chest. “Why are you holding back? Don’t you want this?”

“Of course, I want to find them but it's not smart to search as we are now,” Saeyoung said in an effort to calm him down.

“What?”

“As an agent, I was able to do everything because I wasn’t attached. It's like how doctors can’t treat family members or police can’t be on cases they are personally close to. It hinders effectiveness.” He was starting to raise his voice.

“but we can find them! We are the best in our field.”

“Don’t you see Saeran! They are already gone! They’ve been gone! We couldn’t find them in time. They were on our level a-and three steps ahead every time. We couldn’t find them when it mattered so why would we have a chance at finding them now?” Saeyoung yelled, no longer holding back his voice.

“Because if we don’t try it would be like we willingly let this happen!” Saeran said loudly as he started to tremble. The room fell silent. Saeyoung could see the tears that were forming in his brother’s eyes.

“She fought to save me from Mint eye. She stood by my side as I got over my addiction. She helped me put myself back together after I went through hell.” Tears now streamed down Saeran’s cheeks. “She did all that _for me_ when she didn’t have to because she was truly good.” He hid his face behind his hands, but that didn’t stop the passion from overflowing. “She _deserves_ this. She deserves justice and I will be damned if I don’t continue to fight for her. I _will_ fight for her.”

Saeyoung could only stand there in stunned silence and tears now crawled down his face. He moved his glasses and wiped his eyes as he moved toward his brother. With one big motion, he brought his brother in for a giant hug.

“You’re right. She deserves justice. But I….I-I don’t… I’m scared.” He admitted. “I'm scared of what I will do if we find them and I’m scared of what happens if we don’t. I just…don't think we should. We are too close.”

“Then stop thinking like an agent and start thinking like a hacker. I know we can do this brother. With Jumin’s resources and our combined forces, we can find these evil scums and bring them out of hiding.”

“Maybe you should stop watching those old-timey mafia movies. You're using so much old slang.

“I'm serious.”

“Me too.” Saeyoung sighs and releases his brother. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dear Rfa...im sorry :')
> 
> In the next chapter, you are released from the hospital and taken "Home".


	5. Home

~~11 weeks after your funeral~~

Today was the day. You were finally being released from the hospital. That dreaded white cell faded into a nice, quiet neighborhood.

You shifted in your seat as you watched the city go by. You were happy to be out of there after all those tests, treatments, and the constant oversight of your doctor /brother.

_It makes sense that he was concerned but it was honestly suffocating_.

The car slowed and came to a stop in front of a large white traditional zen style fence. If you stood on your tippy-toes you could barely see over the top to see the house hiding behind it and the branches of a tree reaching over the fence.

“This way Soo Jin.” Your mother ushered you over the dark wood gate that opened to reveal a good-sized courtyard. There were so many flowers of all sizes and colors that led the way to the front door. There was even a small cherry tree on the left side of the entrance. That must be the base for those branches I saw over the fence.

You could hear water trickling nearby, maybe a pond of sorts or even a fountain.

“Wow,” you said in astonishment. “Mother you never mentioned the garden was _this_ beautiful.”

Your mother laughed. “Oh-ho-ho, sweetie. This is just the entrance. The garden is off to the right there

behind the house. But first, we must get you settled in, then the tour.”

You watch as your mother instructs a few helpers to bring your items into the house. Since your stuff was burned with the old house, your parents let you pick all new items and clothes while you stayed with them during your recovery. At least, that is what they said, but they made it sound like you would be there longer than they insisted.

You turn back to the house and scan your surroundings. Its was so serene. The house had a traditional style like the fence but had been modernized in a few areas. It was a nice mixture of the two. Each style’s detail clearly defined but melded together perfectly. 

“Come, Soo Jin. I’ll show you to your room.” You mother said as she waited by the door for you.

“Ah. Yes. Of course.”

The inside of the house was just as exquisite as the outside. You couldn’t help but be in awe.

“How are we able to afford this kind of house after our old one burned down? Are we rich or something?”

“We are well off, mostly thanks to your brother. he does so much to provide for this family.”

“So..we are rich. Being ‘well off’ sounds like something a rich person would say.”

“Hmm. Not exactly rich but we are upper class.”

_That’s oddly vague but okay._

“I didn’t realize being a doctor paid that well. I mean, I know they make good money, but I never expected this.”

“Your bother has done amazing things to get this family where it is today. He even managed to bring you back from the dead practically.”

_What_

“Ummm what do you mean by that?”

Oh-uh..well…” she stumbled over her words for a second before regaining her composure. “we weren’t sure if you were ever going to wake up. Your brother had to perform an emergency brain surgery on you to prevent your brain from swelling too much.”

“He did? Why didn’t you mention this before?”

“you’re still recovering. We don’t want to stress you out too much while you are regaining your memories and such.”

_That…makes sense…I guess._

Before you could ask for more info, your mother stopped abruptly in front of you.

“Here it is!” she said excitedly, turning to get your approval. “what do you think, sweetie?”

“It’s nice.” You look around the empty room. “I’m looking forward to decorating it a little.”

“That’s a wonderful sweetie!” Your mother wrapped you in a hug. “I'm so glad your back home with us.”

“Yeah. Me too.” You hugged her back.

“Okay, you can help me with dinner while your father tells the movers what to do with your things.”

LATER THAT EVENING

“Wow, that was delicious. Thank you, mother.” You leaned back in your seat and rubbed your belly. That was waaaayy better than the food you ate in the hospital.

“I'm glad you enjoyed it Soo Jin and you don’t have to be so formal. You can call me mom.” She looked at you with almost pleading eyes.

“Okay…mom.” Just by saying that one word her face lit up. It was a sweet moment but as you thought about it…something seemed off.

_was it really that big of a deal I called her mom? Even if I called her that before, it's not like it a special nickname or anything. Oh well, I guess she just missed hearing it._

You brushed it off and began to help your father clean the table before your mom stopped you.

“Oh no no no, we will take care of that. Its been a long day. You should rest.” She took the dishes you collected and handed them to your dad.

“I fine, really. I don’t mind hel—”

“Nope.” She took the rest of the dishes before you could. “Oh, don’t go anywhere yet, I want to talk with you.” She called behind her as she went into the kitchen.

“I- uh- okay.” You just awkwardly stood there now. You weren’t sure what to do so you just sat back down.

After a few minutes both your parents returned.

“Soo-jin, we wanted to talk about some rules we have.” Your father said. His voice always surprised you, mostly because it was always your mother doing the talking.

“Oh, okay.” You straightened your back a little to seem more responsive. You still weren’t sure how to act around them. They always seem to expect more from you somehow but you weren’t sure why you felt that way.

“We ask that you don’t go into our rooms or offices unannounced.” He said authoritatively.

“once you have regained enough strength your only duties will be to help in the garden.” Your mother said looking proud of herself. “But until then you are to rest and not do anything that will cause you stress.”

Your father took a breath before saying the next one. Like he was preparing for something.

“So, since you had such a traumatic injury and your now suffer from amnesia, we don’t want you going anywhere alone,” he said. “You must have one of us, your brother, or our assistants escort you. You have to tell us when you are leaving and where you are going.”

_Wow, really? That’s excessive._

“you also cannot leave town. Your brother doesn’t think you are suitable for travel.” Your mother piped in.

“Don’t you think that is a bit much? I’m an adult. I think I would be able to travel down the street by myself.”

“we don’t want to fight about it. You broth—your doctor suggested it. Its for your own good. We can’t have you forgetting where you are or have a seizer in an alleyway alone.”

“But I... understand. I guess.” You couldn’t really argue with their logic. Although it sounded ridiculous. Neither of those scenarios has happened since you woke up.

Your parents looked relieved that you weren’t going to fight it.

“Great!” your mother clapped her hands together before continuing. “Well, why don’t we go over some more pictures I found? I was digging through—”

“I am actually kind of tired,” you interrupted as you stood from your seat. “Can I go to bed?”

“Of course sweetie. Do you need anything to help you sleep?” she stood up and started to fuss over you.

“No mom. Thanks.” You shooed her approaching hand away.

Once you got to your room, you studied your surroundings. Most of the furniture and item they bought for you were unpacked and put together but some boxes were untouched in the corner of your room.

“Hmmm, it could still use some work. It's pretty bland in here.” You whispered to yourself.

You found some pajamas and got ready for bed. It was only 8:45 p.m. but you were exhausted. Not long after your head hit the pillow were you fast asleep.

You started to dream.

You dreamed you were in a grand ballroom, a golden chandelier hung from the ceiling in the center. Music was playing in the background as people mingled in groups. They were in all sorts of attire. Most wore elegant gowns or tuxedos but there were a few guests who stood out from the crowd.

_Is that guy wearing armor?_ You turn around to find another guest wearing a hazmat suit.

_What an odd clothing choice to wear to a party._ _Wait… what am I wearing?_

You looked down to find you wore a long light blue dress with ruffles down the slit in the right side. It was beautiful.

You were admiring the details of your dress when a waiter offered you a try of snack foods.

“would you like any hors-d’oeuvres, miss?”

“No thanks, I just ate dinner.”

“At…noon?” he asked confused.

“No?” now you both were confused.

Suddenly, a familiar voice came from the front of the ballroom.

_That voice. Where have I heard it?_

You follow the crowd to the front of the room where a slender woman stood on a stage, but what was scary was… she didn’t have a face.

“Hello everyone and welcome to Avn@JF’s party.

Your head began to throb as she spoke.

_Ow. Ugh. What's going on?_

“For any% newcomers the IR!JC$F is an org$$^%anization where #@SSjjuTS, @!@EMSKEO@!$%%SCNSRK”

_“Arg..ahhh!”_ you whined out as you put your head in your hands. _Why does it hurt so much?_

You bolt upright in a cold sweat gasping for air as you clutched your head. After a few seconds of heavy breathing, the pain resides.

_What was that?_

You look at the clock set up on the dresser. 4:33 a.m.

You lay back down but the adrenaline pumping through your veins says you won't be going back to sleep anytime soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been a while since I posted! Hope everyone is doing well!
> 
> Next chapter we check in with the RFA. Prepare for more feels MUWAHHAHAH!


	6. Lip gloss and computer screens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys brought tissues.

~~13 weeks after your funeral

Vanderwood entered the apartment. After he and Saeyoung escaped the agency, he hid out in the apartment complex next to sevens. Now after all these years, he is still cleaning up that idiot’s messes. He hadn’t been there in a month since he was traveling for work and he was already dreading what he would find.

The hum of computer fans and rapid typing filled the air. The apartment was dark but there was just enough light to see the empty cans of Phd. Pepper, Honey buddah bags, and empty takeout strewn across the tables and floor. 

_Great. Now I’m scared to turn on the lights._

He rubbed his hand against the stubble on his cheek and went further into the room.

The main sources of light were five computer monitors and their busy components, illuminating the twins in their natural element. Well at least one of them. The other was laying on the floor either dead or sleeping, and knowing these two it could be anyone’s guess.

An error sound popped onto the monitor and the twin (who sounded like Saeran) cursed before starting over. They didn’t know he had come in.

“Struggling with an assignment?” Vanderwood said as he stood in the doorway. He knew not to get to close when they were in the zone. He has taken one too many blows to the gut to forget.

Saeran jumped up in surprise and put up his hands.

“It’s just me,” Vanderwood said calmly. “Can I turn on the lights?”

Saeran loosened his stance before going back to work at his computer. “Not right now. He’s sleeping.” He nodded in the direction of his brother.

“Maybe you should too? When was the last time you took a break?”

“6 hours ago. I’m fine. Just let him sleep a little longer.”

“Okay… I’ll start in the other rooms then.” As he turned to go Saeyoung sat up sleepily.

“Who are you talki—AHH!!” Saeyoung stood up and flung himself into Vanderwood’s arms.

“AHHHH My sweet Mary Vanderwood. How I have missed you!”

“Ugh. Get of meee” Vanderwood groaned as he tried to peel himself from the redhead’s grip. “I wasn’t gone that long.”

“You were gone long enough I didn’t recognize you! You changed your look again.” The redhead whined.

Vanderwood had to cut his hair when they first went underground. He was too recognizable in his old style. In his more recent disguise, he kept the top longer and softer than the sides and would push his bangs to the side. It was different from what he had while working under the agency but it looked cool. Almost like those pop idols he sees all over TV. A common but sexy hairstyle. Vanderwood also grew a slight beard but usually wouldn’t keep it for long. He preferred to be clean-shaven.

“You’re also blind as shit without your glasses,” He walked past him and looked at their computer screens. “what are you so intently working on?”

“I'm getting revenge,” Saeran said bluntly. It was clear that was all they would be getting out of him.

“Care to explain?” He asked Saeyoung.

“Jumin hired us to track down MC’s Kidnappers. We thought that we could find them since we had more time and money but….we keep hitting dead ends.”

“How is that possible? You two combined are able two of the best hackers in Korea—no the entire continent.”

“I Know!” Seven threw his hands in the air. “IM GOD SEVEN! GENIUS HACKER! I had rivals sure, but I hardly ever met a challenge I could not win.” He sighed “Whoever planned this made sure that _all_ the bases were covered. We are barely finding the breadcrumbs. They left no physical or electronic traces they didn’t want us to find.”

“Comfort me,” he tried to hug Vanderwood again.

“No.” a rejected seven slouched over dramatically.

Vanderwood thought for a moment. “Do you think that one of the agencies could be behind this?”

“The thought occurred to me but I don’t think so. We still have the crumbs.” Saeyoung walked back to his computer and began to prepare his work. “We are still piecing together what we’ve found.”

Vanderwood watched the twins get sucked into their work once more.

“Okay,” he sighed, “If you need me for anything, I am happy to help.” 

“Thanks” Saeyoung nodded before turning back to the screen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jumin sat quietly at his dining table. He had barely touched his breakfast. Instead, he simply watched as Elizabeth the Third ate for her crystal bowl on the counter. She seemed to be taking the adjustment to the new penthouse fairly well, though she was still getting used to their new home.

Jumin hated uprooting her like this. After they both experienced such heartbreak. Before the move, Elizabeth would sometimes wait by the door, as if she expected you to walk through. Now in the new apartment, she watches the door from her favorite spot on the couch. She is waiting for you to come home. She doesn’t understand that you won’t be coming home anymore.

Jumin starts to tear up and Elizabeth looks up from her morning feast. She trots over to her owner’s feet and weaves her way around his legs trying to comfort him.

“Hello Beautiful,” Jumin bends over to grab the white cat. He gently picks her up and places her in his lap. Elizabeth looks up at him with big blue eyes filled with love and concern for her master. “I'm sorry. Am I worrying you?”

He strokes her soft fur pulls his hand over his face in an effort to clear his head. His course hand messages his cheeks. A cold metallic band on his left hand brings him back into the present. Your wedding ring is the only memory he brought with him from before.

Living life without you was…well…it wasn’t hell but it was a kind of torture so deep it cut his heart in two at the mere mention of your name. Even talking about you among the RFA was hard.

Jumin understood that everyone was grieving in their own way.

He understood that guilt was overwhelming Zen.

That Jaehee has begun to heal herself.

That Yoosung clung to the memories you shared by reliving them.

That anger had consumed the twins, with his fuel adding to the fire.

The one thing he didn’t understand was the immense darkness that had grown inside him. It was like the numbness he felt before. It was a mixture of the rage and fear and sadness the had consumed him from his mourning.

Jumin placed Elizabeth back on the floor as he stood and cleared the table. He used to have the maid do it, but he found that keeping his hands busy helps to keep the darkness at bay.

Jumin slowly did his morning routine, though by now it was already noon.

After breakfast, Jumin would brush his teeth, shower, fix his hair, and put on clean clothes.

Once that was done, Jumin would grab a book and sit in the reading nook while Elizabeth the third played at his feet. Sometimes he would read. Most of the time he would look out the nook’s grand window and watch the city live out another day.

Today he chose the book “In Search of Lost Time” by Marcel Proust. It was quite fitting for the mood he was in today.

Lost time…lost love…just…Lost.

Jumin stared as the city thrived below. About an hour had passed when a sudden knock on the door startled him from his stupor.

“Were you expecting someone?” He asked Elizabeth as he stood and fixed his shirt. She only stared blankly at his question. Jumin chuckled, “I’ll take that as a no.”

He opened the door to find V waiting for him.

“Hello.” Jumin smiled, “It has been a while.”

V smiled at his childhood friend, “Yes. It has been hasn’t it.”

“Please come in,” Jumin gestured for him to enter the apartment. “Forgive the mess, this visit was quite unexpected.”

“Ah. I tried to call but you didn’t answer.”

“You did?” Jumin checked his phone to find 4 missed calls. One from Jaehee, one from his father, and two from V. “It must have been on silent. I didn’t even hear it ring.”

“It’s okay. I was hoping you would join me for lunch today. It has been a while since you’ve left the apartment.”

“I suppose…it wouldn’t hurt.” Jumin said. “what do you have planned?”

The small smile on his friend’s face spread with excitement. “I was thinking we could eat at ‘Gongsang’ by the aquarium.”

Jumin turned to his hall closet to grab his coat. He didn’t feel like putting on a suit today. “

“So, V…” Jumin slid the coat over his shoulders as he spoke. “I was wondering what prompted this sudden lunch.”

“Can’t a guy be worried about his friends?” V said as he pushed his teal hair from his face.

“If it were anyone else, I would suspect there was a catch.” Jumin laughed as he put his hands in the large coat pockets. He paused.

“It’s a good thing I’m not anyone then…” V noticed his friend’s hesitation. “Uh. Jumin? You okay?”

Jumin knew what it was, the hard cylinder shape that burned his hands. He had forgotten that it was there. In the temporary purse of his coat, was your favorite lip gloss.

He still vividly remembered the last time you wore it.

_“Come on my love, we are going to be late. You look beautiful.” Jumin said as he leaned against the doorway. He couldn’t stop looking at you._

_“I know, I know.” Your sweet voice echoed in his ears. You applied the lip gloss and tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. “Here.” You said as you embraced him. “keep it safe for me?”_

_Jumin leaned down and kissed the tip of your nose. “Always.”_

Who would have thought that something so simple and easily forgotten could instantly cause Jumin such a headache?

“Jumin?” V asked concerned.

“Uh..sorry.” Jumin placed his fingers to his temple. Tears started to form in his eyes. “I suddenly have a migraine.” He started to take off the coat, leaving the lip gloss hidden in his pocket. He left the coat on the floor and sluggishly walked to the couch. “I’m going to pass on this. Maybe next time.”

V picked up the coat and studied it. It didn’t take long for him to find the culprit to Jumin’s mood change. “Oh.” He hung it back in the closet and put the lip gloss on the counter.

“Jumin, I—I know you aren’t feeling well but we don’t want to leave you here like this. What if we ate in the rooftop garden instead?”

“I appreciate it V, but I would like to be alone right now. Maybe tomorrow.”

“No. Jumin, you didn’t give up on me. I’m not going to give up on you.” He sighs. “Jumin, I’m worried about you. Come with us to the garden. If not for lunch at least for a short walk. We won’t talk unless you want to.”

V crouches down to be eye level with Jumin.

“You need fresh air. You look like Hell.”

After a minute of silence, Jumin reluctantly sat up and sighed.

“Just a quick walk then.”

“Perfect.” V held out a hand to his best friend. It wasn’t because he needed help getting off the couch or anything but V knew he needs support. And so, Jumin took it.

They stood at the couch for a moment before V hugged him. It was brief but strong. After he let go of V he felt as if some of the weight had been lifted off him.

“Let’s go for a walk then,” V said as he led Jumin out the door.

“I’m sorry,” Jumin said quietly.

“Don’t be. I understand.”

When they got to the rooftop gardens, Jumin stood in the warmth of the sun. He didn’t realize how much he missed it.

“V…”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

V chuckled, “Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are baaaacccck and with a Vanderwood insert! oof that one was a knife to the heart.  
> Sorry it took me a little longer to get this one out. It's been pretty crazy lately.
> 
> Next time MC gets a mysterious visitor!


	7. Brain Freeze

~~15 Weeks after your funeral

Soft music flowed through the air as your eyes fluttered open. You were there again… in some far-off dream. When you weren’t having those strange dreams that hurt your head, you found yourself back here. It’s become your safe space.

You stood in a large room with modern furniture and wide windows that housed the orange glow of the setting sun. You couldn’t move to see your surroundings but you felt at peace.

A soft purr came from your feet. You looked down to see a beautiful white cat looking up at you. Like the times before, you pick her up and stroke her fur as you watch the warm glow fade into night.

The music stops and you hear footsteps move toward you before strong arms wrap around your waist. You relax into the embrace and feel both your bodies breathe as one entity. While you both watch the scene in the window, you know deep in your heart that you love this person.

The sun has long since faded away when you sigh to yourself and put the cat down. “It’s time for me to go.”

The arms tighten around you as if begging you to stay, before slowly letting you go.

You close your eyes and the next thing you know you lay awake in a room that doesn’t feel like your own. You look at the clock on the wall across the room and sigh. **6:04 am**.

You’ve been waking up early ever since you came back from the hospital. No matter how many times you tried to go back to sleep, you never could.

Your heart is full as you roll over in bed, fondly remembering the dream you just left.

It is always the same each time you have that dream. You open your eyes, you pet the cat, you watch the sunset, you are embraced, then you leave. Rinse and repeat…

_I wonder what that dream means…_

_Could I have been in love before? I wonder what happened._

By now, the sun peaks through the curtains and you can smell something mouthwatering.

_Mom must be making breakfast. I should help her._

Even though they were wealthy enough to have a chef, your mom always insisted on making breakfast herself. She says it helps keep her humble.

You got ready for the day before heading to the kitchen. You enter to find your mother cooking on the stove, humming softly to herself.

“Good morning.” You say from the doorway.

“Oh!” she Jumps, “good morning, Soo-Jin.” Your mother laughs and leaves her spot to give you a kiss on the head. “How did you sleep?”

“Perfectly.” You said with a smile. “Can I help you?”

“Sure sweetie. You can help me with the stew. I start the last side dish.”

You pour the last of the ingredients your mom laid out into the pot and began to stir.

You hear the door to the garden open and your father’s heavy footsteps. He enters the kitchen holding the morning paper. He must have gone to the convenience store at the end of the block to get it. He goes there a lot.

“Good morning dad. Did you have a nice walk?”

“I did.” He opened the fridge and got out some juice. “I ran into the neighbors walking their dog. I couldn’t leave once they started talking.”

Your mom chuckled. “Oh? Was it Ms. Yuu? She is always poking around.”

“Yeah.” He laughed.

“Who is Ms. Yuu?” You ask, feeling out of the loop.

“Oh, just one of our neighbors who likes to get involved in everyone’s business.” She waved you off “No one you should be concerned with sweetie.”

“Well… it would be nice to meet her. She sounds like a fun person to talk with.”

You haven’t talked with anyone other than your family since you left the hospital. You hadn’t even left the house. It was ridiculous!

“You should take me with you next time dad. It would be nice to go for a walk.”

“oh, we don’t want to stress you out sweetie.” Your mom had started setting the table. She placed the side disses and the rice make down and motioned you to bring the stew.

“It’s just a few minutes down the road.” You say as you hand her the stew. “It would be good exercise and a great way for me to know the neighborhood.”

“I don’t know…” Your father says. Your parents exchange worried looks.

“It’s not like its far away and I won’t wander off.” You make pout and make puppy dog eyes at your parents. “Please.”

Your dad sighs and turns to your mom, “I don’t think it would hurt her to come with me to the store.”

You gasped excitedly. “Really!”

“Beom, I don’t...” She trailed off

You rolled your eyes at your mother’s protest, luckily, they didn’t see it.

“Hee-Young, she’s been home for 4 weeks and she hasn’t left the property once, even with an escort. We should give her this.”

Your mother sat down with a huff. “I still don’t think this is a good idea. I’ll contact Yong-min and ask him about it after breakfast.”

You met your dad’s eyes from across the table and mouthed ‘thank you’. He smiled and winked before digging into his breakfast.

After breakfast, you were forced to endure another one of your mother’s daily checkups. She was very persistent in making sure you weren’t dead or dying every few hours.

You had a whole day to yourself… again. You decided to read in the garden. There wasn’t much else you could do. Plus, it was such a beautiful day.

Your time online was limited and you suspected they were tracking your searches. Once you tried to search for information about the fire but couldn’t find anything. A few hours later, your parents “casually” brought up that the accident wasn’t reported and to ask them if you had questions.

You knew they were hiding things from you, but you had no idea how to get answers when you were always being watched.

You grabbed a random book from the shelf in the study and headed to the garden. You sat under the large orange tree that was just turning green again. You weren’t sure why you were drawn to this spot. It felt as if you were close to something important when you sat beneath it.

The grass felt soft on your legs as you sat down.

A gentle breeze found its way through the garden hopping from flower to flower. The tree’s branches swayed a bit as you leaned against the trunk before the chill of the wind was gone.

You started to read the book but after two hours or so you were growing tired of it.

“uagghh” you sigh as you lean your head back. “I’m so bored.”

You bring your knees to your chest and rest your forehead against your legs.

_It’s so frustrating. I’ve read just about every book in the library now, I’ve started like three hobbies that aren’t going anywhere, and I’m not allowed to even go down the road without someone with me._

_Why can’t I leave? I’ve been fine for weeks now._

“Why are they hiding things from me?” you mutter.

Just then you hear loud voices inside.

“Huh?” you get up and peak through the backdoor.

“Oh I’m so glad you came,” you heard your mom's voice say happily. “She will be so excited to see you again.”

_Is someone visiting?_

“After your call this morning how can I not?” you heard your brother's voice reply. Chills went down your spine.

_He’s here. Mmmmgggh. I didn’t think he would come over._

You begrudgingly started walking toward the voices.

“I’ll go get her and we can have some tea.”

“No need.” You said as you rounded the corner to the front hall. “I’m here. I heard him come in.”

You didn’t get any closer though. Even though he had a smile on his face, something about it made you weary. He seemed to mean well but your gut couldn’t shake the feeling that you should be alert around him.

“Perfect” she clapped her hands together, “I’ll start the tea then and we can cha—”

“No, it’s okay mother,” he interrupted, “I actually wanted to take Soo Jin out for Ice cream.

“What?” you perked up.

“It’s been a while since we have hung out.”

“You mean…we get to go into town?”

“Geez, you make it sound like you’re a prisoner or something,” your mom crossed her arms exasperated.

“Of course. I happen to know where the best ice cream stand in town is. Shall we go?

“Okay.” you started to put on your shoes and your mother looked over your shoulder.

“Are you sure she should be going out?”

“She will be fine, mother. I won’t let her leave my sight.”

You watched your mother's face change slightly. Something flashed in her eyes before disappearing.

**_Fear_ **

“I want my baby back safe okay.” She said locking eyes with her son.

“I promise, she will be back in one piece.”

Without breaking eye contact, He placed a hand on your back and ushered you out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~

At the local park, there was a portable ice cream vendor that sold a nice variety of Ice creams. There were Ice cream popsicles, cones, and numerous topping options.

“They move around the city every day.” Your brother whispers in your ear as you wait in line. “It’s a part of the game to find them. Really makes the ice cream worth it.”

He points to the menu on the side of the vendor’s cart. “So, do you see anything you would like to try?”

“Hmmm, I don’t know. It all looks good.” You ponder for a moment, “I guess I could go for the fudge pop. That seems like a safe choice.”

“What do you mean safe choice?” he asks as you both move up in line.

“Well I don’t want you to spend your money on me and then I don’t like it. I would feel bad.”

“Haha Oh Soo Jin,” your brother laughs as he ruffles your hair. “you don’t have to worry about that. Try something new.”

It was now your turn so you decided to choose fast.

“Okay um, I’ll have a cone with mint chocolate ice cream please.”

“I’ll have a strawberry sorbet pop please.”

After your brother paid and you both received your sweets, Yong-Min leads you to a bench in the shade.

“So how is everything at home?” he asked as you sat down, “they aren’t smothering you are they?”

“Oh…uh kind of, but I know they mean well.” You say as you stared at your ice cream. “I know they are worried about my health.”

“Yeah. It was like that before too.” He said between bites, “They were always worried about you since you always got into trouble.”

“I was? How so?”

“Well for one, you were way too trusting. I often picked on you for it.” He chuckled. “I wasn’t the best big brother growing up.”

_Huh…okay._

You feel a drip on your hand and panic when you realize the ice cream is starting to melt.

“Oh no.” You quickly start to lick the cone in an effort to save grace. However, after a few big licks, you get a splitting headache. “Ack.” You put your palm to your forehead.

“What’s wrong?” Yong-Min asked concerned.

“B-Brain freeze.” You muttered.

“Oh, got to be careful with those. Put your thumb to the roof of your mouth. It will help.”

You do as he says but the pain gets worse.

You watch your ice cream fall to the ground as darkness closes around your vison.

“Soo Jin? Soo Jin!” you hear a distant voice call.

“Hey, y/n. put your thumb to the top of your mouth.” A familiar voice says.

You look up to find you’re not at the park anymore, but instead, you are on a pier at sunset.

“Did you hear me?” The redhead who spoke to you demonstrates. “Lhike thwis.

Smiling, you copy him and the pain recedes. “Wow S@$%2ng, where did you learn that trick?”

“S#@45& taught it to me,” he said as he points to the white-haired clone of himself looking at the flowers nearby. “We ate ice cream all the time as kids when our mom wasn’t around to care. Ice cream was, and still is, our therapy.”

“I’m glad you both are sharing it with me.” You laughed you watch as he tries to steal his brother's ice cream. 

“Of course. You’re our family too y/n. Tip, tricks, and ice cream should always be shared with family!” he said as he swung his arm around his brother. you almost didn’t notice his spoon inching closer to the ice cream in his brothers’ hand.

“but can family EAT THEIR OWN ICE CREAM!” his brother yelled as he pushed the redhead away.

“What!? Just one bite?” the redhead pouted. “Y/n will give me some, right y/n”

“no way!” you teased.

“Oh, come oonnnn, I’ll let you try mine!” he laughed as he held his cone out to you. “it’s mint chocolate chip”

“stop bugging her.” The brother elbowed him in the gut.

“Oofgkh, critical hit. Man down. Man…dow….

“Soo-j….Soo jin!” you were suddenly brought back to the present. A few people had gathered around where you fell.

“What happened?” you sat up holding your head.

“You fainted.” Your brother said. “I’m sorry. I think the brain freeze caused your body to panic.”

He quickly checks your temperature and looks for any scratches on your arms and legs.

“Can you tell me today’s date?” he says as he takes your pulse.

“Uh..no..” he releases your hand and you pull it to your chest. “I don’t really look at the calendar anymore.”

“Okay, well. You seem to be fine. Let’s get you home.”

Yong-min helped you stand. You brushed yourself off and let him lead you back home.

Your mind was racing with newfound questions. You knew your family had the answers hidden somewhere, but how are you supposed to find them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do y'all think about your new family? I'm curious...
> 
> Side note: I've decided to make it a full Xreader so ill be going back to changing mentions of MC to y/n. The experience will be different, but the story will be the same.


	8. memories of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking a break from all the feels for some nice fluff and memories from the RFA's perspective :)

The four-month anniversary of your death shocked each RFA member, even though they saw it coming. For some members of the RFA, the time flew by. They began to steady themselves again after your sudden departure. For others, it was dreadfully slow. Time could not go fast enough. They still clung to every part of you they could muster. These memories are ones that each member holds deep within their hearts.

**Jaehee**

“Come on Jaehee! I think this is the building.” You pulled Jaehee excitedly across the street. And into the small learning center.

“Y/n, slow down,” Jaehee laughed. “the class doesn’t start for another 30 minutes; I think we earned the right to talk our time walking in.”

“I know I’m just so excited! It’s been a while since I baked anything.” You beamed excitedly. You looked just like a child at visiting Disneyworld. “Thank you for inviting me to the class with you Jaehee.”

“I’m really glad you were able to come, I am excited to brush up on my baking skills.”

Mr. Han was away for a few days on a business trip and gave Jaehee time off from her assistant duties. She can now go home at a reasonable time like her peers.

She had heard about this Baking 101 course from a friend at the café she frequents and wanted to try it out. Today was the first of the 5-day course and the class was making Sweet Red Bean Rice Cake.

“You knooww…” you started, “if you master these skills maybe you can impress the cute barista at that café.” You wiggled your eyebrows and Jaehee blushed.

“Wha—I don’t—you,” she stuttered. Folding her arms over her chest Jaehee gave a huff. “You are so mean to me sometimes y/n.”

You laughed at her and patted her shoulder. “oh, come on I’m just playing with you. Besides I’m sure she would love it.”

Later during the class, both of you were mixing your batter when you walked over to her.

“Hey what does your batter look like? I’m not sure about mine…”

Jaehee tilts her bowl in your direction and you frown.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Does it look weird to you?” You showed her your batter. It looked almost the same as Jaehee’s but it was a little clumpier and slightly darker cream color.

“It does look a little different than mine. Did you make sure to add everything in order?”

“Yeah. I did the dry ingredients first then I added the milk and everything. I haven’t added the bean paste yet though.”

“Maybe you just added a little too much of something. I don’t think it would be a problem.”

“Hmm. Okay. I’m here to learn right. If it goes wrong, I know what not to do next time.”

You both pour your battering into the cake pans and set them into the oven. After an hour, the class takes out their cakes and taste their creations.

Jaehee was proud of her cake. It came out exceptionally well. It was a nice golden brown and didn’t stick to the pan at all.

“Wow it looks so good!” she said as she admired her work, “how did yours come out y/n?”

She paused as she looked at the giant cake you were holding. “How is it so big!?” Jaehee yelled shockingly.

You burst out laughing. The cake came out nice like the other but it had a huge mountain top instead of a flat surface. “I have no idea.” You said between laughs as tears gathered in your eyes.

The teacher came up and examined your cake. “It seems you added to much baking soda. That is what makes cakes rise. How much did you use?”

“I used a tablespoon as the recipe said.” You said bashfully.

Jaehee snorted and covered her mouth, “oh no. y/n. It was supposed to be a teaspoon, not a tablespoon.”

Your face grew red with embarrassment as you both laughed. “haha, well. Heh, we should try it.” You both take a bite of y/ns cake.

“It’s a little dry but it's not that bad. Let me try yours.”

After sampling both cakes, the two of you cleaned up your stations and started walking home.

“I can’t believe I misread that.” You laughed as you exited the building. “What should we do with these cakes? I know Jumin will want to try mine but you still have your whole cake.”

“I can take it to work tomorrow. I’m sure the assistants would love a treat.”

“That’s a great idea. But I still think you should take a piece to that barista. It would be better than just watching her while she works.”

“I don’t watch her. You make me sound like a creep.”

“Ah but you do. I’m not blind Jaehee.” You nudged her with your arm. “Talk to her. You have your conversation starter right here.”

“okay okay… your right y/n” Jaehee sighed.

“As always.”

“Oh, so you were right when you created Cake Everest.” Jaehee laughed.

“*Gasp* I’m definitely calling it that from now on.”

Your laugh was one of the things that Jaehee loved most. It was contagious.

Jaehee took another bite of the Rice Cake. It was still warm from the oven and practically melted in her mouth. Jaehee smiled at the memory.

“Hey babe, I’m home.” Jaehee’s girlfriend Emma called as she walked through the door to their apartment. “mmm. something smells good.”

Emma kissed Jaehee on the head when she noticed the cake. “Hey…Isn’t that the cake you gave me one time at the café?”

“Yeah. I was craving it so I decided to make it. Want some?”

“I would love some.”

**Yoosung**

“Okay, so this button is to attack. And the space bar is to jump…” Yoosung explained the instructions for LOLOL as you sat at your computer. Yoosung finally connived you to try out the game so you two could play together more often.

“Good job. Now, use this button to attack the slime.”

You frantically pressed the buttons and successfully hit the target. After a few more hits, you killed your first monster. “I did it!” you cheered.

“Whoohoo! Yay, y/n.” Yoosung pumped his fists in the air. “you ready for me to give you the tour? Or do you want to practice in the tutorial more?”

“I think I'm ready.” You nod.

“Okay go to this door and watch the cutscene, ill wait for you at the spawn point,” Yoosung said as he put on his headphones.

After watching your character's introduction and story cutscene, your avatar popped onto the screen.

“Okay, I’m here.”

A large male avatar in bright purple armor jumped into your point of view and didn’t stop jumping.

“hurray!” Yoosung’s voice echoed through the headset. Even though you were in the same room it was hard to hear each other with the headsets so you both opted to use the in-game microphone.

After a few hours of teaching you how to not die, where all the best loot was, and getting you to join his guild, Yoosung set his mouse aside and stretched in his seat.

“Whew. Do you think you can do some Player v. player? That skill is super important.”

“Yeah, show me what you got blondie.” You joked.

“Uh-oh, I think it’s a little too soon to be trash talking. You just learned how to walk.”

“Don’t go easy on me.”

“You do realize I’m 70 levels above you right? I have to go easy on you or you die instantly.”

“Not if I do this!” you quickly moved left then right and used your special skill to strike a blow against his chest. It was only -1 damage.

Yoosung threw his head back laughing while you just stared at the screen in silence.

“Maybe I should battle players who are my level first.”

“Good idea, y/n.” he wiped away a tear from his eyes, “Good idea.”

**Zen** **(includes inner monolog)**

Of all things Zen expected the RFA to do for their summer trip, a group camping trip in the mountains was not one of those things.

Well, it was more like glamping. The RFA stayed in cabins, full plumbing, a small kitchen, everything to make ones stay comfortable.

Members were split up into four two-bedroom cabins; Zen and Yoosung, the twins, Jaehee and y/n, and V and Jumin. Jumin had almost brought the furball but thankfully you talked him out of it by saying she would stain her pretty white fur or something. You were such an angel. You saved Zen from countless encounters with that thing. But that’s not the point, the point is that the trip was an unexpected blessing.

After doing some research, Zen found out that there would be a meteor shower on the last night the RFA was there.

Now the time has come. The weather was perfect for viewing the shower. Not a cloud in sight. The brisk cold of the mountains was certainly refreshing, and there were so many stars. Way more than Zen could usually see from his roof.

The RFA set up a spot with blankets and some snacks for everyone to enjoy while they waited. Yoosung handed you and Zen a cup of hot cocoa to help warm you up.

“Oh, y/n come here for a sec.” Zen gestured to you. “Look up there do you see that really bright star.”

You followed his line of sight. Your eyes sparkled with the jewels of a thousand stars. It was mesmerizing. Zen looked at the sky again.

“Do you see how it's connected to the three stars above and below it?”

“Woah, yeah!” your face lit up as you made the connection. “Is that a constellation?”

“Mmmhmm, it’s called the cycuns or the swan. It's linked to a myth about the story of swan lake.”

“You mean the ballet?”

“Yeah. I don’t remember all the details but I know that it’s a big inspiration for it.”

“That so cool Zen! What other constellations you know?”

“well, ah, if you look a little up and to the right, you with see the string of the constellation Lyra. It's an instrument.”

“Hey, wait is that the big dipper?” you pointed to a spot in the sky.

“You're close but that is the little dipper. The big dipper is in the spring.” Zen high fived you. “good job spotting it though, y/n.”

“Thanks!” Your face beam as bright as the stars. It wasn’t long before a dark figure appeared over your shoulders. Jumin appeared and put his hand on your back.

“What are you two talking about?” he looked down into your eyes. He probably saw the same thing zen did before.

“Hey, sweetie. Zen was pointing out some constellations to me.”

“That’s nice.” Jumin smiles softly at you before staring down Zen. he couldn’t read his face which made his blood boil.

“What CEO-in-line? You mad I stole her away from the group for a few minutes?”

“No, I'm just surprised.”

“huh? about what?” Zen asked confused.

“That you’re so knowledgeable about the stars. I knew you like them but I never realized it was a serious interest of yours.”

“oh uh--,” Before Zen could say anything Jumin turned his attention back to you.

“y/n, my love, I’m going back to the group. The meteor show will start soon so you should come to find a comfortable spot.” Jumin looked back at Zen. “You too Zen. this was your idea after all. You don’t want to miss the show.”

Zen was kind of impressed as Jumin walked away.

“you expected him to be jealous, didn’t you?” you giggled.

“uh…maybe.” Zen chuckled. “He usually is when we are together.”

“I do miss his being jealous sometimes but it's nice to know that he trusts me. We trust each other.” You take a sip of your drink and look back at Zen. “He trusts you too, you know.”

Zen smiled to himself. “I know.”

You both walked back to where the group was sitting. You snuggled up to your husband and Zen took the spot in-between Yoosung and the twins. After you two both got cozy, Yoosung pointed at the sky excitedly. “Look there I go!”

Hundreds of lights fell across the sky. It looked as if heaven was falling. Oooh, that would be a good line for a musical. I should write that down.

**Saeran**

Saeran pulled on his tan vest in excitement.

You leaned over to him from the right side of the car. “you excited?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. An excited blush rested on his cheeks.

_I can’t wait to pick out flowers._

With his mixed personas, Saeran often presented a hard outer shell, but you were able to sneak through the cracks. Not many people knew his softer side. Only you and Saeyoung knew about it. When you discovered that Saeran loved flowers, you promised you would take him to the store to buy things to build a garden at 707’s new apartment.

“Have you thought about what flowers you want to buy?” you asked.

Saeran nodded. “Since the garden can’t be too big, I decided on some flowers that would have a lot of blooms but wouldn’t take up too much space.”

“Well, that’s great. Are they the flowers you _want_ though?”

“Yeah, I want them. I don’t mind what kind of flowers they are. I’m getting one of my favorites too.”

“Oh? what is it?”

“Lilly of the Valley.”

“Oh that one is very pretty!” you beamed. “I’m excited too. It's fun taking care of the rooftop garden, but it’s even for exciting to start from scratch.”

The car pulled up to the plant farm Jumin found. He was happy to help you two on your quest but he sadly couldn’t help with setting up.

“Okay so we need soil, plant food,” you started to list everything you both needed and assigned people to get them, “and lastly seeds.” You held your hand out to Saeran. “shall we?”

He took your hand as you led him through the greenhouse to the seed rack.

“Okay, what were some of the flowers you wanted to buy?”

“Um let’s see…” his eyes scanned the bags of seeds, “Let get the Holly Hocks, windflowers, baby’s breath...”

“What about hyacinths? Or this agro-agopan-uuuhh agapanthus! They have a lot of pretty blooms.” You say as you show him the packets.

The excitement on your face warmed his heart. He loved talking about flowers with you. You were always so happy when you learned something new about gardening.

“Yeah, let’s get them!” He smiled, “Oh let's also get snapdragons and moonflowers to satisfy Saeyongs fantasy needs.” You both laughed softly.

“Oh! and we can’t forget this one,” You say happily as you snatch the lily of the valley seed packet from the shelf.

“Here you go sir, one lily of the valley,” you playfully hold the packet out to him.

“Thanks, y/n.” he smiled brightly at you. You made him feel so loved, he was couldn’t help becoming softer around you. “Should we go check out?” Saeran said pointing to the register.

“Yes, everyone should be ready by now.”

You both start to walk to the cashier but saeran wasn’t paying attention and hit a hanging fern with his head.

“Ouch,” he laughed.

“careful,” you giggled, “are you alright?”

“Yes.” He said, a little embarrassed.

“Hey, lean toward me.” You said.

Saeran leaned over without question. You lightly plucked of a small green leaf that had found its way into his hair.

“We had a stowaway.” You hand him the leaf with a smile before brushing your hand through a lock of his hair, “your hair is looking good, its almost back to your natural color.” After fixing his hair, you took a step back.

Saeran chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s a little scary when I look in the mirror though.”

“I won’t lie, it will be strange seeing you without the white hair. I’ve grown used to it.” You admit.

“Heh, should I keep a few strands white just for you?”

“Haha, no-no. it's fine.” You laugh lightly hit his shoulder. “besides you would just end up looking like a peppermint.”

After paying for all the materials, you and Saeran headed back to the apartment to start setting up the new garden. After a long day of work, you both finally set down your tools.

Saeran wiped the sweat from his brow and took a sip of water.

“I can’t believe I have my own garden again,” he said happily.

“I’m so excited to watch them grow.” You said, “I know I can’t come over here much but you have to keep me updated okay!”

“Okay. I’ll be sure to send you pictures when they sprout.”

“Promise?” you held out your pinky finger to him.

Saeran chuckled before wrapping his pinky around yours. “Promise.”

**Saeyoung**

“are you sure you should be put here?” you asked 707 who was bundled up in a disguise. “I don’t want you to get caught or anything.”

“Please, no know knows I’m here.” He pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. “besides, even you didn’t recognize me.”

“Haha your right,” you giggled, “I thought you were some creep or something.”

“Ugh, you wound me y/n”

Both of you wore wigs and inconspicuous clothes since you two couldn’t be seen in public. You because you were Jumin Hans's wife (without a bodyguard with a random guy), and Seven because he was a wanted man by his old job and his old man.

The disguises were necessary today because it was the release date of the new limited edition Ph.D Pepper chips.

Saeyoung had camped out in his car the day before and was still the 22nd person in line.

“I'm so HYPED for this new chip flavor!” Seven said a little too loudly but thankfully none of the other campers were bothered by it.

You had come to relieve him of his post for an hour so he could refresh himself.

Yoousung would have done it but if he skipped another class, he would automatically fail and have to retake it next semester. You were the next available option.

“Remember what you promised me?” you asked.

“yes yes, 5 bags of the new chip and 30 bags of Honey Budah.” Hey waved his hands defensively. “I won’t take long so just sit here and wait for me.”

Saeyoung then bolted around the corner to find an available bathroom. After relieving himself and stretching he grabbed some juice and snack from a nearby vending machine and headed back to the store.

“Here,” he said handing you a carton of juice and some crackers, “nourishment.”

“If this is what you think nourishment is I fear for your health.”

“My health is doing just fine. I’ve limited myself to 20 Honey Budah bags a day Vanderwood has been teaching me and Saeran how to cook.”

“Oh, that’s sweet of him. But still…20 bags? How are you alive?”

Seven contemplates for a moment before throwing up a peace sign and saying, “a mix of spite, love, and desperation.”

“well… at least your honest about it.” You snort.

You both talk more about how the twins are doing in their new apartment, what cute this Elly did that morning, and how to help Yoosung find a girlfriend so he would stop complaining.

Saeyoung looked at his phone and realized you stayed with him for two hours. Seven knew you were busy, and he didn’t want to interrupt your schedule.

“You don’t have to stay, y/n. I can wait on my own.” he smiled thankfully.

“I don’t mind staying. The store opens in what…45 minutes? I might as well keep you company until then.” You bumped him with your shoulder. “and it’s been nice talking with you in person. I’m glad to see you’re doing okay.”

“Oh, y/n.” Saeyoung faked a swoon, “What did I ever do to deserve such a kind-hearted friend like you?”

You laugh before getting a text notification. you look at your phone and gasp.

“Jumin just sent the cutes picture of Elizabeth. Wanna see?”

“DO I EVER!” Saeyoung had to stop himself from snatching your phone away as he buzzed with excitement.

This memory of you two huddled in front of the store in ridiculous clothes and oversized wigs just chatting away may not have meant much to others, but to Saeyoung this moment was everything.

Your presence always made him happy. How could it not? You were his guardian angel.

He didn’t admit it to you then, but he was glad to see you were doing okay too. It got lonely sometimes when the twins and Vanderwood were hiding. You always found a way to make him feel better.

Ever since you joined the RFA, there was a special place for you in his heart. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for you.

**Jumin**

Elizabeth the Third may have been his heart, but you were his everything. From the moment you were wed, Jumin made sure he knew everything about you. Your interests and hobbies, what kind of flowers you liked, what books you liked to read, what music you would listen to. He especially loved learning things about _you._ He loved to count the freckles that graced your body, find the places that tickled, and discover the areas that were the most sensitive to his kiss. Each night while you slept, his eyes would trace the details of your face so that if he were to lose his sight, he would remember every gorgeous detail.

What he loved the most about you was the way you brought a sense of calm to him. Before you two officially met he would call you just to hear your voice. It soothed him even then. It was no different after you were married.

When it was discovered Elizabeth the Third had a small tumor during their annual check-up, Jumin was terrified. To him, she was at death's door, but you knew better.

When you got home Jumin fussed over everything Elizabeth did until she needed her space and hid from him. When he couldn’t find her, his fear shot through the roof and he started to hyperventilate on the couch. You were swiftly by his side to comfort him.

“Hey, honey, it will be okay.” You cupped his cheeks in your hands and lifted his eyes to yours. “she just needs a moment to herself.”

“But what if she is in pain. I want to help her, y/n.” His worried expression made you smile.

“It is easy to fix. She will be alright.” You cooed. “The doctor says it probably doesn’t even bother her. She isn’t in pain, It’s just a temporary inconvenience. One that will be fixed in the morning.”

“Will she be nervous to get the surgery? Will she be okay with me not there?”

“I’m sure she will be relieved to get the surgery over with. Elizabeth is a big girl. She knows how much you love her. She knows you wouldn’t leave her with doctors you don’t trust.” Your soft voice allowed him to loosen up. You pulled him onto a hug while you cradled his head. 

“You take her to the most esteemed vet in the city, you made sure she was absolutely comfortable, heck, you practically know the ins and outs of these procedures with all the research you did.”

You kissed the top of his head. “You are doing an amazing job Jumin. Thanks to you, Elizabeth will be just fine.”

“Y/n…” Jumin closed his eyes and breathed you in now fully relaxed in your embrace.

You managed to tame his panic in mere minutes.

A soft meow surprised him and Jumin looked down to see Elizabeth rubbing between his feet.

“See? She came back to you.” You said as you released him.

He bent down and scooped the cat into his arms with a relieved sigh. “You’re right darling. You are always right.”

He stood from the couch and placed a soft kiss on your lips before resting his head against yours. “Thank you, y/n. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Without missing a beat, you playfully replied, “Suffer.”

Jumin let out a hearty laugh before pulling you close to him and trapping you in a hug. Your squeals of laughter echoed through the house. In that moment everything was perfect.

BONUS

**Jihyun (V)**

Today was unlike your funeral. Instead of being trapped behind rainclouds, the sun poured over the green cemetery illuminating each headstone with an angelic glow. Jihyun walked through the rows of the stones until he came upon yours. It was the first time he visited your grave since you were buried. He lay the bouquet at the base and lit an incense wand for your grave. He noticed that four others were burned recently. A few loose wildflowers lay atop your headstone and a smaller bouquet—though still fresh—wilted slightly off to the side.

 _It seems I’m not the first one here. Heh. You were loved deeply by all who met you._ V thought to himself _._

_I may have been the founder but you were truly the core of the RFA._

Jihyun was eternally grateful that you came into their lives. You did what he could not. You saved each member of the RFA and gave them new hope, including himself. If you hadn’t gotten angry with him that night and knocked some sense into him, he would be completely blind by now.

He laughs each time he remembers that dinner he had with you and the RFA. Oh, what a disaster it was, but boy was it fun. He hadn’t laughed so hard in so long. Of all things that came out of that dinner, you managed to talk him into getting eye surgery. He couldn’t remember exactly what you said but whatever it was, it worked. He had scheduled the consultation later that week.

With a deep breath, he spoke softly to your headstone, “I miss you, y/n. It’s strange leading the RFA without you. You changed everything for the better.”

It had been a while since he prayed, but at that moment it felt right. He prayed for your soul to find happiness and that you could get all that you deserve and more. He ended the prayer with a wish. He wished that one day, you and the RFA could be happy together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. 4,500 words, it's practically a short essay. Merry Christmas and happy new year everyone.
> 
> What was your favorite memory from this chapter? 
> 
> Next time will we will return to our normal broadcasting :')

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome Back, everyone! Time for part two. The layout for this part will be kind of switched. Each chapter will have a different POV. For example, one chapter may be focusing on the RFA, the next on MC, and so on. Some chapters will be at different points in time or hold flashbacks. I will mark these but please tell me if it is confusing. 
> 
> I'm so excited to share my story with you again!  
> Stay safe and well everyone!


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